Ways to Be Yourself

Olga “Lyoshka” Gerassimenko

Sexologist · Psychologist · Sexual Health Educator

Board Member, Estonian Sexual Health Association

About my work

I work with sexuality and relationships — and with the broader question of how to live in a way that actually fits you.

Here are some questions my clients bring to our work:

How can I make sense of my feelings and bodily experiences, and express my boundaries and desires — if I haven’t experienced safety in close relationships or unconditional acceptance?
How can I support my child’s right to live their own unconventional life when I myself struggle with judgment and social pressure?
How can I build a relationship with a partner that truly fits me when “being alone feels better”?
How can we avoid getting hurt in conflicts when one of us needs distance to recover, while the other needs closeness in order not to feel abandoned?
How can I follow through on a long-term project — finish an academic study, write a book, or start a business — when perseverance feels like “a word from a foreign fairy tale”?
How can I live with my long-standing anxiety — not by dismissing it, but by building a constructive relationship with it?

About me

The idea of ways to be yourself is deeply personal to me. I care about helping people build ways of living that genuinely fit them — even when those ways don’t match expectations or norms.

As a non-binary person, I go by Lyoshka (a name I’ve had since childhood) and use he/him pronouns in informal and close contexts. In professional settings, you’re welcome to address me as Olga (she/her) or Lyoshka (he/him) — I’m comfortable with both.

I am also neurodivergent, with strong hyperactivity. Most days, I start with a run or a swim — it helps me ground myself and sustain a stable sense of energy and wellbeing.

I structure my work in ways that may seem unusual, but that allow me to work well. For example, I dedicate 90 minutes to each 60-minute session — to prepare in advance, to have an opportunity to slightly prolong the session if absolutely needed, and to have a time after the session to reflect, recharge and switch — even though it’s more common to schedule sessions back-to-back with minimal breaks.

My work formats must support real connection: for example, I only lead webinars when I can see participants’ faces, even if this living contact means fewer participants and less pay.

I am energised when I combine different types of activity — counselling, trainings, teaching, editing, and translation — rather than doing just one thing, even though it is less time- and energy-consuming.

What I offer

I work:

with individuals (relationships, embodiment, sexuality and sex, gender, self-regulation, self-esteem)
with couples and polyamorous relationships (agreements, boundaries, trust, jealousy, conflict, differences in desire and needs)
with teenagers (12+) (friendships and romantic relationships, boundaries, social skills, self-advocacy)
with parents (how to navigate difficult situations, how to talk to your child while maintaining trust, what actions to take as a parent)
with professionals (supervision) (sexuality-related topics, personal triggers, problematic sexual behaviour, suspicion of sexual abuse)
with adult groups (trainings and webinars) (self-regulation, communication, sexual communication, conscious parenting, responding to children’s and adolescents’ behaviour)
with teenage groups (12–18) (bodily boundaries, communication skills, personal safety, online safety)

I also work with people experiencing stigma, for example:

neurodivergent people;
LGBTQIA+ people, mono- and polyamorous families living in non-supportive environments;
religious people for whom gender and sexual diversity are experienced as a meaningful part of their faith.

Stigma and minority stress can wear people down, much like harsh weather. That is why it is essential to create safe spaces in therapy and counselling to rest, warm up, and recover — and brave spaces to gradually build resilience and navigate difficult environments.

A separate focus of my work is supporting people who:

are afraid of harming others or crossing boundaries in relationships or in sexual situations;
have already faced such situations and want to take responsibility, understand what happened, and change their behaviour.

I do not work with

people who have participated in military actions on the side of an aggressor state;
people whose beliefs are incompatible with respect for human dignity and diversity;
requests outside my professional competence (I will try to refer you to a colleague).

В работе я опираюсь на доказательные подходы и профессиональные стандарты (EX-PLISSIT, ОРКТ, нарративная практика, стандарты сексуального образования ВОЗ).

Вы можете прийти на консультацию как с четким запросом, так и с ощущением «что-то не так» — и мы начнем разбираться вместе.

📩 Если вы не видите выше интересующих вас тем, но думаете, что я могла бы оказаться вам полезной, напишите мне, пожалуйста (контакты внизу страницы).

Approach

My work is based on evidence-informed approaches and professional standards:

You’re welcome to come with a clear request — but it doesn’t have to be fully formulated.

Many people come with a difficult or confusing experience; we define the goals together and adjust them as we go.

📩 If you don’t see your topic listed but feel I might be helpful, feel free to reach out.

Education and experience

Since 2015, I have been working with adults, teenagers, parents, and professionals on issues of relationships, sexuality, gender, boundaries, and psychological well-being.

I combine practical work with ongoing professional development in sexual counselling, trauma therapy, and complex cases.

I also lead educational programs and individual supervisions, which allows me to see client needs from a broader professional perspective.